The Times They are (Bout' to) Changing

Well, This is about to be it, I'm 3 BIG weeks from the point of no return. Graduations just around the corner and the anticipation, fear, excitement, amazement, and nerves are in over-drive now.
I wish I could just stay in school just one more semester, but way prolonged the day I've been waiting for these last four years. Man, I'm really gone miss my buds. I've made some many friends, and many feel like family now. Brandon will still be here a few more years and I'll likely come over and visit with him and Casey, but I know it will be like pouring salt over an old wound. These guys have all really been great friends throughout this semester.
Many of my old friends here have graduated and moved on, but I still see Jared on occasion when he pops into town. One of my best friends Morgan seems to have fell completely of the radar, but I hope he's doing well. He was really instrumental in helping me to adjust and cope my first few years here. Now I guess the only thing to do is get ready for the big day, pray I get to graduate and try and re-adjust to my new life after college.
I plan on taking it to the next level at the master's level, but I really feel I need time at home before I head out again. I found a great school for that at Gardner-Webb, so it looks as though another big move will be coming this fall. I have some old college friends down there now, and I'm sure they'll help me to re-adjust yet once again. And one of my old professors is the director of admissions there and has set me up with a pretty good package.
Yet I still feel a great mixed bag of emotions as I try to sort out my new life. I really know how my old room mate Jared felt as we said good bye the last day of class last semester and moved out of our old apartment. One good note though is He's coming up this weekend to help me celebrate my birthday as I will be stuck here for the weekend and not going home.
I guess the only big frustrations I feel come from the college itself as I near graduations. As if I don't fill out enough forms every semester here, and pay out the cu-zu for this place, they continue to send me more forms to fill out for graduation, and stick me more bills (i.e. grad fee, invites, pictures). I mean I've pay to the average tune around 21,000-22,000 a year to go here, so you would think some of that stuff would of been included in the fees. I mean 180.00 activity fee every semester that for activities that even if I did go to I'd have to pay for anyway?! 180.00 technology fee per semester to use their computer labs, which I never use. And the fact that if I did use their network for internet access, most every sight is banned by our campus computing director gOD who has most every sight blocked?!
And there's the forms. Now tell me why the alumni dept. need's to know everything about me from my date of birth, to my social security no, to what and how many times I piss during the day? In truth, they don't. The only department how needs that info is the financial aid and provost. But yet I am told that I will submit the info before I graduate. I guess they forgot about the little federal law on privacy.
Anyway, I've vented, and I feel better. But that doesn't change my mixed bag of feelings that grows larger as I get close to closing this door. I guess my biggest fear is returning to a home I really don't now anymore and having to operate on a lower level. It has been hard the last few years to try and deal with those at home whom none have a college education and most of those not even a high school diploma.
I think of it as a challenge to deal with, but, I know I just can't deal with them anymore. Besides, as much as the thought pains me, I just don't feel like that's home anymore. And I feel it more with each time I go home. I have found myself in anticipating returning here within just a day or two of being there. So much has changed, not there, but with me. I'm no longer the person they expect, and I can feel it coming from those at home as well. They even say I've changed, and many of my old friends and some family seem to avoid me, especially in conversation.
I guess, as this door closes I will just have to open another somewhere else, besides there. May God Bless and help me in this difficult situation.