Sunday, November 20, 2005

Happy Birthday, Good Bye, and Thanks for One more Last Wild Ride


Well, this is a shock, at least to those who read my blog. I'm posting yet once again and its not on my semi-monthly schedule. Anyway last night I celebrated turning another year older and feeling the pains of my age beginning to catch up on me. I really must wonder sometimes, that with all our vanity why must we constantly remind ourselves every year that we are growing old with these annual birthdays.
My family just could not wait to call me this morning and remind me I'm getting old by WISHING me a HAPPY Birthday?! Don't get me wrong, but do I really want to be reminded that I'm now officially one year older than I was a year ago? Especially now that middle age has crept in upon me. Yes, I am Happy to be alive and I thank God that He has bestowed upon me another day and year of life to serve Him, but I wonder if Ole' Methuselah who lived 969 years ever celebrated his birthdays. I know since I've returned to college, I kinda feel like I'm reliving the younger life I missed out on, but these birthdays are just another reminder that I'm not as young as I use to be (along with the many aches and pains of trying to keep up both physically, and mentally with these young minds and bodies).
Its funny though, they with their quick wits and abilities seem to costantly look to me for wisdom. Yet I must admit that though I may be the elder, I'm none the wiser, just older and more experienced. But even that experience hasn't taught me that sometimes even the big old dogs can get kicked off the porch by the younger pups.
Since we're on the subject of time, I've moved from counting weeks before graduation to days; as it is now officially 27 left before the Big Day. I guess that's the final thing to do before I leave here. I think I've come now to somewhat look forward to moving on. I've moved on so many times in my life; left friends behind and had really gotten use to it, but this time for some reason is different. I never had a problem with moving on before, and yet I find it to be most difficult to let go of this last experience. The pain is felt thoughout my gambit of emotional realities that It is finally over, college is about to give me a degree and kick me out back into the real world on my proverbial Butt. And then my life will once again be in my own hands. I thank the school for the education which they've given me at great cost to me, and I know I will leave here a better man and fully enriched with knowledge, but I guess I've become accustom to this life and have become afraid of the dark once again? Yet I'm sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but as for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, I've settle with my self long ago that somethings are really just fairy tales.
At this point, I think I'll close and pray that I'll find more adventure waiting for me outside of this garden of Eden called college life.
I've learned to crawl,
Then learned to walk.
I learned to speak,
Then I learned to talk.
I've learned to add,
And to subtract.
I've learned to live life,
As a child happy and carefree.
Somewhere along, I found I grew up,
Suddenly I found I had responsibilities and such.
I had to learn to set goals,
To meet deadlines, raise a family,
And watch my own children grow up
And for all I've learned, experience has taught me one thing,
I never learned how to give up.
And as one door closes, and another opens up.